I think I have an idea that is slowly killing me. It’s killing me because it’s a project that I started 10 years ago. It’s something that I care about and that I have told myself I will eventually get back to and finish. On and on I dredge it up and reconsider whether to shelve it or take it on. It’s a huge project and will take a good 6 months to 2 years of real hard work to finish it to my liking.
In reality, it could make me some money, but not enough to really compensate me for the time it will take to finish. It’s something that a small group of people would value for the memories it would preserve, but it’s doubtful it will gain attention beyond them. Most of the video footage I shot looks so dated and unprofessional that it’s not going to further my career as a camera operator or director of photography. But there is a story worth telling there…
None of the reasons to complete this project have pushed me past the pain of the overwhelming task of just completing it. It’s a combination of fear of failure and of losing that time which I could be spending on more “useful” and “fulfilling” projects. That pain has caused me to stagnate. What I am realizing though is that not finishing this project is slowly killing me. It’s seeping into all other projects and ideas that I have. It’s weighing me down. This giant undertaking that I dedicated so much time to, that I cared so much about, that has been the excuse for not starting new projects is killing me.
I’ve come to the realization that there is never going to be a “good time” to finish it. If I avoid it, it will kill my creativity for the rest of my life. Some projects are worth finishing simply because not doing so will ruin you. I’ve got to find a way to push myself and make it happen.
Are there any projects, relationships, plans that you have abandoned that are secretly killing you? Maybe it’s time to pick them up and put them to bed. Your life may depend on it.